By JayhlinMichele
Art by Barbara Licha
There was a black shadow. Tall and slim. It creaked down the hallways of my vacant
home, as I sat in fear, alone. I watched the movements of this unforgettable creature. With each
step it took closer to me, my body began to shiver. I was stuck. Stagnant, in a state of complete
uncontrol.
One moment I closed my eyes and thought back on the beautiful life I lived before I lost
myself. Blood Orange sunsets, and palm trees, laughs, and bright purple lilies. The good things
reminded me of what love once was. Before my happiness began to disappear. I was in love,
with a man I thought I would spend the rest of my days with until he showed me his ugly
shoulder. In fear of him, I began to live my life according to his rules, and ideals. I began to
become all of the things I hated in my life. The world’s roles of woman became me, I had lost
myself and became someone else. Unrecognizable. I was in love with a man I didn’t know, and
life quickly turned from all of the good things to horror. I’d look out into the bright yellow sun, and wonder what freedom felt like. Trapped in the realities of my partner’s hopes and dreams. I
remember looking at myself in the mirror and not knowing who I’d become. I’d lost who I once
fell in love with, but most importantly I had lost myself.
As I opened my eyes to face the creepy still picture in front of me. I stuck out my hand to
the curvy shadow that bowed before me. I was afraid of what it might do to me and If my life
would be over before it officially began. I spoke an assertion to its head. The fear I once had
was irrelevant. When the shadow finally released its face to look up, I was speechless. It looked
at me, bearing a smile of bright, white teeth. It curved its head in curiosity. My body was still, I
couldn’t move. I was staring at myself, a version I hadn’t seen in so long. It was so unfamiliar.
Fear began to release from me giving my body control. “Why have you lived in fear of me for so
long?” As the shadow spoke to me, with eyes like mine, and lips as my own, tears began to
form, as I didn’t know what to say. “You run, afraid to look me in the eyes and realize who you
once were. Embarrassed about who you’ve become.” Words I hated to face broke me down. I
uttered a tired sigh. As the once creepy shadow gently placed its hand on my shoulder, and the
tears began to fall drop by drop, it left me saying,” You no longer have to run.” At that moment I
realized my long battle of entrapment was over. I was free.
-JayhlinMichele
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